So I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I've figured out that I'm a "listener". What I mean is that I listen to everybody's problems. I'm that friend that all my friends call when they need to air their problems.
Don't get me wrong, I kinda enjoy it and I think I'm pretty good at it. (I mean I must be since they keep coming back to me with all their problems.) I wasn't always good at it because I used to try to help with advice. Somewhere along the way I learned to just listen and shut the hell up. Have advice you've given someone come back and bite you in the ass enough times and you learn to zip it! I love hearing people's stories, I think this is why I'm such a voracious reader too. Plus, I love to mother people, not the nagging, bitchy, judgmental kind of mothering, but the warm and fuzzy, hug you mothering.
The problem is all my friends are "talkers". "Talkers" are not "listeners". "talkers" don't want to hear your crap, they want you to listen to theirs. So where do "listeners" go when they need to dump their crap on someone else? "Talkers" get free therapy, I want free therapy too!
This has been my problem and why I have been contemplating this dynamic.
Then it hit me. I'm a good "listener" because I suck at being a "talker". This does NOT mean I'm a quiet person, I can talk your ear off about almost anything. Unless that anything has anything to do with my problems. I gloss over stuff, leave out some things altogether, and use the classic 'it's nothing, I'm fine' like a crack addict uses the pipe! I've even been to therapy and walked in with a list of things that were bothering me and walked out not having talked about ONE of them.
So how does a "listener" become a "talker"? No really, I'm asking you because I have NO idea!
Is it possible for a listener to listen to their own crap? (I don't think so because I hear my bullshit rolling through my brain all day long and I don't feel any better.)
Do "talkers" ever wonder how they can become "listeners"?
Are there "talker/listeners" or "Talkners"?
If so, can I join?
Crap, I gotta go one of my friends is calling...... :P
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
-Sigh- No more Oprah :(
Well the world said goodbye to the Oprah show yesterday. I, for one, am really gonna miss it. I started watching when I was 18, on the very first day with the very first episode, and what can I say she spoke to me. I never had a mother that talked to me. She never really taught me about life or how to navigate through it. She always was very uncomfortable with talking to me. I remember when it was time for "the talk", she told me they would teach me in school and if I had any questions I should "ask the school nurse". End of discussion. So I learned what I could from friends and their mothers.
Then there was Oprah. I learned how to be a better person, I learned how to be a better mother. I learned about gratitude, forgiveness, charity, validation, worthiness, love, and kindness. I learned that all that reading I did and still do was a GOOD thing and not a "lazy, waste of time" like my mother told me. I learned I was worthy just because I was born, and I was enough just the way I am. I learned to do better when I knew better, and that the greatest gift I could give my kids is to have my face light up when they walked in the room. I learned that God first speaks to you in a whisper, then thumps you in the head, then hits you with a brick, and slams you into the brick wall so you better learn to listen to the whisper!! I learned so many things that I can't even remember them all at once, but when I need the lessons they are there waiting.
For 25 years she has been the mother, the teacher, the friend I always wanted and needed when I was a kid. She filled that void in my life, and now like a mother she has pushed me out of the nest to stand on my own. To make my way in the world with what she has taught me. It's funny that someone I've never met face to face, who doesn't even know I exist, has given me more than the person that gave birth to me. But really that doesn't matter, what matters is that I was given the gift and intend to honor it by being the best me I can be.
So thank you Oprah for being my mom. I love you and I hope I make you proud! Keep in touch, okay?
Love, Mickey
Then there was Oprah. I learned how to be a better person, I learned how to be a better mother. I learned about gratitude, forgiveness, charity, validation, worthiness, love, and kindness. I learned that all that reading I did and still do was a GOOD thing and not a "lazy, waste of time" like my mother told me. I learned I was worthy just because I was born, and I was enough just the way I am. I learned to do better when I knew better, and that the greatest gift I could give my kids is to have my face light up when they walked in the room. I learned that God first speaks to you in a whisper, then thumps you in the head, then hits you with a brick, and slams you into the brick wall so you better learn to listen to the whisper!! I learned so many things that I can't even remember them all at once, but when I need the lessons they are there waiting.
For 25 years she has been the mother, the teacher, the friend I always wanted and needed when I was a kid. She filled that void in my life, and now like a mother she has pushed me out of the nest to stand on my own. To make my way in the world with what she has taught me. It's funny that someone I've never met face to face, who doesn't even know I exist, has given me more than the person that gave birth to me. But really that doesn't matter, what matters is that I was given the gift and intend to honor it by being the best me I can be.
So thank you Oprah for being my mom. I love you and I hope I make you proud! Keep in touch, okay?
Love, Mickey
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Hmmmm....
Well this is it. My first blog. Kinda exciting, right? I've always wanted to keep a journal, you know writing down all the events of the day, pondering the meaning of life and then having the great epiphany that changes everything! But, usually what happened was that I would sit there with a blank page trying to find something that was worth writing down, or more accurate when I was young something that my mother could read when she raided my room again. I didn't have the safest of homes, but, we'll get to that some other time. Anyway, I would dutifully fill it out every night for about 5 days and then give up or, you know, forget.
However, this is something I might be able to do. I actually have stuff to say, subjects to cover and most importantly time on my hands to do it. Motherhood, marriage and dystonia give you lots of material. I don't know if I will be the only one to read this or not, so I just decided to talk like I normally do. I don't have the best grammar and I tend to use bad words so if anyone else is out there you've been warned!!
So there we go, Blog #1. Short and sweet. Next time I'll tell you a little story about a magical land called "Dystonia"! OOOhhhhhhhh, aaahhhhhhhh!!! (Oh yeah, I'm a smart ass too)
-Mickey
However, this is something I might be able to do. I actually have stuff to say, subjects to cover and most importantly time on my hands to do it. Motherhood, marriage and dystonia give you lots of material. I don't know if I will be the only one to read this or not, so I just decided to talk like I normally do. I don't have the best grammar and I tend to use bad words so if anyone else is out there you've been warned!!
So there we go, Blog #1. Short and sweet. Next time I'll tell you a little story about a magical land called "Dystonia"! OOOhhhhhhhh, aaahhhhhhhh!!! (Oh yeah, I'm a smart ass too)
-Mickey
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